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Buffy Meets The Penguins ...
By Manchester
 As she hopped over
the zoo fence, Buffy Summers irritably muttered to
herself, “So, where’d Speedy go?”
Looking around the cages, exhibits and preserves of
the New York City Central Park Zoo, the blonde
Slayer had a scowl on her face over spending far too
much time on this. Tonight, after an entire day
spent in meetings on New Council business at their
hotel, she’d just wanted to burn off some energy on
a run through Central Park at well past midnight,
and maybe dealing with an idiotic mugger or two
along the way. She hadn’t really intended to hunt
for her normal vampiric prey, but one of those
demons had actually been lurking inside the park,
and after a single horrified look at the Slayer, it
had promptly bolted in the direction of the zoo.
“Kids got no respect these days,” grumbled Buffy,
stalking through the sleeping zoo in her search.
“Don’t those guys know when they meet me, they
should put up a hopeless fight while allowing me the
chance for a quip or two? It’s traditional, dammit!”
Stopping by a large water-filled pool, Buffy drew in
a deep sniff in an attempt to continue tracking the
fleeing vampire by his smell, using her heightened
senses. A few seconds later, Buffy’s face turned
white, then green, then white again with greenish
blotches, as she urgently made a dash for the
nearest trash can.
Disgusting noises resounded through the air, until
the woman finished vomiting into the container, to
then make a beeline to a water fountain a few steps
away, taking a mouthful before spitting it onto the
ground, only then allowing herself to drink to
settle her stomach. Straightening up and wiping her
lips, Buffy stared at the pool where she‘d felt ill,
and muttered to herself, “Never, ever do that again
standing right next to a hippopotamus pool. What do
they EAT, anyway?”
Buffy’s complaint was interrupted by the noisy
rustling coming from a patch of bushes about fifty
feet away on her left. Instantly, the Slayer blurred
into action, running right at the greenery and
launching herself into a horizontal dive over it,
face first and her arms reaching out to grab what
she’d sensed was waiting for her.
Her arms automatically swept inwards to bring her
prey into closer contact, but her embrace came up
totally….empty? Looking down in the middle of her
leap as she clutched her chest, Buffy saw staring up
at her the vampire she’d been chasing.
He was lying flat on his back, his arms and legs
sticking out, as they were all tied together at the
wrists and angles with very thick, strong ropes, and
seeing the Slayer sail overhead, the vampire’s eyes
widened over his gag, a zoo brochure stuffed deep
into his mouth.
Still looking down as she went past, Buffy allowed
herself a blink of total bewilderment, until while
still in midair, she lifted her head to notice she
was just a few feet from colliding headfirst into
what looked like the very thick concrete wall of a
cage….
A few minutes later, a weaving Buffy Summers,
holding her head with both hands and feeling the
onset of a severe concussion, stumbled over to the
vampire still lying on the ground. Pulling her hands
away with a groan, Buffy blearily looked down, at
the vampire now struggling with panic in its bonds
and trying to make grunting noises through its gag.
“Give it a rest,” unsympathetically moaned the
Slayer, who really wanted to get this over with, and
she pulled out her stake from her clothes, knelt
down by the vampire, who was now frantically jerking
his eyes to point at something over to his right,
and plunged the stake into the demon’s chest. At
least what happened next was normal, as the vampire
puffed into ashes.
Still on her knees, Buffy glanced over at what that
vampire had thought was so important in his last
moments. A puzzled look slowly appeared on her face,
and then the blonde woman unsteadily got to her
feet, and again holding her head, Buffy wandered
over to a railing. Stopping in front of the fence,
the Slayer groggily looked past the barrier at
another water-filled pool that in this case had a
small, flat concrete island in the middle of the
pool.
Standing on their feet, four penguins lined up
abreast on the island stared back at her.
 Buffy slowly closed one eye to see if this made any
difference. Nope, there were still four flightless
birds in their familiar black and white coloring,
standing stock still and watching her with beady,
unblinking, black eyes. Opening the eye she’d shut,
Buffy said muzzily, “Huh, I didn’t know penguins
were nocturnal.” After these words, the woman did
something without thinking about it.
She took her right hand from her head and
nonchalantly waved at the penguins.
Totally expressionless, as one, every penguin lifted
their right flipper and waved back.
Buffy’s hand froze in mid-air, and she abruptly
clamped her eyes shut. Still holding her eyelids
firmly down, the Slayer put back her right hand in
supporting her head, and slowly about-faced, to
start walking away from the railing. It was clearly
evident that she’d suffered a more serious injury
than she’d thought, considering how fast the
hallucinations had started.
Now opening her eyes to determinedly make her way
through the zoo, Buffy decided that right now, what
she wanted most in the world was to get back to her
hotel, collapse in her bed, and have Willow place a
damp hand-towel on her forehead before the witch
started with the healing mojo. After that, she’d
forget as fast as possible everything that had
happened on this most weird night.
With every bit of her being, Buffy Summers
steadfastly ignored the conversation now taking
place behind her, easily understood by Slayer
hearing.
“Well, that was most unexpected, wouldn’t you agree,
Kowalski?”
“Absolutely, Skipper! I think we need to get a
sample of what happened to that human. Private, get
ready.”
“Yessir! Rico, bring up some gloves and a sterile
specimen container.“
Belch. Clatter, clatter.
It was just another night for the Penguins of
Madagascar.
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